I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i can't believe i had my finger in that
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
