# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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