TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
