I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
