You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
My vagina is officially offended.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Randomize
