My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
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