I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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