How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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