3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
