Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
