Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
