beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
