Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
