We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
