I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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