Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
