bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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