so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
