I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
