you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
