I just made out with a guy for $7.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
