i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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