yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
