After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
