its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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