I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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