and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
