I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
