How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
