Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Found the puke drawer
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
