Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I am naked and annoyed.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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