so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize