my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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