Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
