i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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