No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
