Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
