I seem to have left my pride at pride
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
