plz talk dirty to me
i think my mom watched the whole time
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
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