We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
