Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I think I just shit out all my problems.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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