Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize