I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
