Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
