Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
