I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
NoShamevember. You game?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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