You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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