yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
