Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
