My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
