I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
