I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
he's gonorrhea incarnate
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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