I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
