I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
