I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
