Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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