My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
