just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
