My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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