I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
