We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
