i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
