U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
