he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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