So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
