Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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