im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
