Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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