What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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