Buhtt sex?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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