I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
